0 Nostalgia

I've lost my motivation...this is not me.

I used to be hyper with work...an ultimate workaholic. But now, I don't seem to do things right.

Everything's a mess...

My stats...sched...home...life...

Before, no matter how boring things seem to be, I'm able to achieve it. I'm meeting the standards, even exceeding it at times. Now, things seem to be really, really slow. No matter how hard I try to push my self, I am left at ground zero. Maybe because I know my mom does not agree with my work...that subconciously, it has been affecting my system. Maybe because at the back of my mind, I am still longing for something...yearning for my passion.

Before, I though that it is great grabbing the opportunity since I could still practice writing--in fact it can improve my syntax.

Now I realize, I was wrong.

Nothing beats:

- the freedom from bundy clocks and eight/nine hour shifts.
-the freedom to get to decide which thing to do first.
-the sweat building on your temples as you race under the sun for the perfect subject/ the perfect story.
-the feeling of being pressured and excitement ( imagine coming up with a half page article in 3 hours. This includes research and all)
-the happiness and pride you feel once your work gets published under your name.
- the feeling that even if you are not greatly rewarded financially, and the task is physically draining, still the emotional reward is more than what you can contain...

I am...in hurting nostalgia.