Sa loob ng nakalipas na 8 buwan, maraming lumisan, madaming nagbago, madaming nagpaalam. Mga mahal sa buhay na sumakabilang-buhay. Mga kaibigang nangibang-bayan at tumawid ng kabilang bakuran upang simulan ang panibagong yugto ng kanilang buhay.
May mga materyal na bagay ding nagpaalam. Kinuha ng pwersahan. Sapilitan. Mga teritoryong pinangahasang pasukin at mga kapayapaang nabulabog. Kung may ipinagpapasalamat ako, yun ay walang nasaktan. Ngunit namamahay na ang takot sa dating tahimik na mundong aking ginagalawan.
Minsan naisip ko, bakit tila hindi makatarungan ang mundo sa akin. Alam ko maling magtanong pero hindi ko maiwasan. Kailan ba papabor ang ikot ng gulong ng buhay ko? Gusto ko ng mapagod. Gusto ko ng sumuko. Nakakapagod ng ipakita sa mundo na matapang ako. Dahil ang totoo, tila ako isang musmos na umiiyak na lamang sa isang madilim na sulok sa mga gabing balot ng kalungkutan.
Kahapon sa misa, sinabi ng pari, matutong sumuko at itaas ang lahat ayon sa gusto Nya.
Nawa'y mas matutunan ko pang sumunod sa layon Nya.
Monday, August 27
Thursday, June 28
Sunday, June 3
0 A Game of Billiards.
Ok, so I did went out again on a date last night. On a game of billiards, something that I missed doing. And the guy was good I must say, and competitive [and did I say his cute (emphasis on the word :)].
We had snacks, and conversations of all sorts, and I accompanied him in purchasing a bag. Then we had coffee (yeah, finally my cravings were given justice). And we again talked. And talked.
Then he waited for me to ride a bus. When I got home, we exchanged messages. He called. The way he used to every night.
I have to admit, we have a lot of differences. I was the outgoing type while he'd rather stay at home and make love with his gadgets and games. He is makulit and seldom serious, I was on the other hand is usually serious and seldom gets makulit (well except with my friends). We both don't enjoy the fun of mountaineering, and gets really hyped in a game of billiards. He admittedly is not fond of traveling and since he grew by the beach, he does not find the excitement in it while I enjoy long bus rides, exploring places and the beach.
He only drinks mocha frappe, "customized" his way (for the longest time, its just now that I met a guy who is picky with his coffee that he even requested it to be re-mixed. The concoction, I didn't really quite get). He is admittedly color-blind, and for the love of his gadgets, he'd pay all sums.
Well, he's chivalrous in his own way, not the type who puts a front just to impress. And he is always, repeat after me, always SMILING showing his dimples that I almost die in envy (hahahaha!).
He asked what I do in wedding coordination, he intently listened, then told me, it sounds complicated and its kinda hard to grasp. Well he may not understand the process, but he understands that its something I enjoy so what the heck. He even posed a pseudo proposal of what if my company offers the same compensation that the company am applying for as a corp comm officer gives, would I still accept it. I told him no. I guess it gave him an idea that it rather be hyper and creative than be steady at home.
So far, I think things are going well. No, don't ask about emotions, I don't wanna complicate things. Let me cross the bridge when I get there. Honestly, am not really smiling ear to ear, not because I don't like him or anything but because I just want to enjoy this and let things unfold day after day.
Come what may...
Later!
We had snacks, and conversations of all sorts, and I accompanied him in purchasing a bag. Then we had coffee (yeah, finally my cravings were given justice). And we again talked. And talked.
Then he waited for me to ride a bus. When I got home, we exchanged messages. He called. The way he used to every night.
I have to admit, we have a lot of differences. I was the outgoing type while he'd rather stay at home and make love with his gadgets and games. He is makulit and seldom serious, I was on the other hand is usually serious and seldom gets makulit (well except with my friends). We both don't enjoy the fun of mountaineering, and gets really hyped in a game of billiards. He admittedly is not fond of traveling and since he grew by the beach, he does not find the excitement in it while I enjoy long bus rides, exploring places and the beach.
He only drinks mocha frappe, "customized" his way (for the longest time, its just now that I met a guy who is picky with his coffee that he even requested it to be re-mixed. The concoction, I didn't really quite get). He is admittedly color-blind, and for the love of his gadgets, he'd pay all sums.
Well, he's chivalrous in his own way, not the type who puts a front just to impress. And he is always, repeat after me, always SMILING showing his dimples that I almost die in envy (hahahaha!).
He asked what I do in wedding coordination, he intently listened, then told me, it sounds complicated and its kinda hard to grasp. Well he may not understand the process, but he understands that its something I enjoy so what the heck. He even posed a pseudo proposal of what if my company offers the same compensation that the company am applying for as a corp comm officer gives, would I still accept it. I told him no. I guess it gave him an idea that it rather be hyper and creative than be steady at home.
So far, I think things are going well. No, don't ask about emotions, I don't wanna complicate things. Let me cross the bridge when I get there. Honestly, am not really smiling ear to ear, not because I don't like him or anything but because I just want to enjoy this and let things unfold day after day.
Come what may...
Later!
Friday, May 11
0 Lucky 18
I have a love-hate relationship with migration and moving outside the country. On the 18th, I'd bid farewell to the first bride who gave her confidence on me in handling the full coordination of her wedding. Not only is she my bride, she's also my cousin, a sister, a friend and confidant rolled into one. She's moving to Taiwan for good to start her new life as a wife and mother. I know she'd be well, but I can't help but be a bit sad. There's a difference knowing that she's back here after a year of two of working overseas over the fact that she'd be a resident there for good.
The past 8 months has been an exchange of constant phone calls, dates, chats, texts and sleepovers with her. It was filled with surprises unraveled right before our very eyes. The word FINALLY has already been synonymous to her. And I am honored to share all her joys and agitations over those months.
Whatever life takes you, break a leg! And am sure gonna inform you my wedding date in advance so you could move your ass back to MNL >:)
There are no goodbyes.
Hasta la proxima vez Cuz...
The past 8 months has been an exchange of constant phone calls, dates, chats, texts and sleepovers with her. It was filled with surprises unraveled right before our very eyes. The word FINALLY has already been synonymous to her. And I am honored to share all her joys and agitations over those months.
Whatever life takes you, break a leg! And am sure gonna inform you my wedding date in advance so you could move your ass back to MNL >:)
There are no goodbyes.
Hasta la proxima vez Cuz...
 |
| Me and Diok circa 2008 |
 |
| Me and Diok on her wedding day |
Thursday, May 3
Monday, April 30
0 Sa Silong ng Punong Mangga
Sa punong Mangga
Tayo'y kumanlong
Naupo
Nagkuwentuhan
Seryoso
Mababaw
Nakinig
Ikaw
Sa musika ng buhay ko
Ako
Sa himig ng gitara mo
Tahimik ang hapon
Maalinsangan ang hanging
Di natin inalintana
Tumakbo ang oras
Mabagal
Mundo'y uminog
Realidad ay bumalik
Pinagdikit tayo ng bisikletang de motor
Gahiblang hangin ang namagitan
Na tuluyang pinaglayo ng pamamaalam
Sana muli
Panahon ay maglaan ng sandali
Upang tayo'y muling sumilong
Sa punong Mangga.
Wednesday, April 18
0 Baby Boomer
Hail to the baby boomers!
No, I ain't talking about those who were born during the Post-War baby boomer era between 1946 and 1964 but the trending pregnancy news within the family and my friends. Yes, the world I guess is so fertile this 2012 and every couple is hormonal that leads to the rise in sales of maternity dresses and baby items (note that we're just in the first quarter and anything can happen).
On the light side, these news lead to some benefits (personal that is). Pregnant moms tend to crave and when your with them, you get showered with the "blessings" from their cravings. Just like now, a friend left a SMS wanting to meet me and another friend with a request that we eat in this La Paz batchoy joint I introduced to her last year because yes, she's craving for that steamy batchoy soup. ;)
While most female in the hood that I know is enjoying their "am-a-mommy-my-belly-gets-bigger-baby-kicking-inside" status, it somehow leaves me thinking. Being a person who adores kids, seeing pregnant friends and cousins sends me mental notes about the ins and outs, do's and don'ts of pregnancy. But what scares me the most are the following: a.) will I find the perfect donor to complete the molecular structure of my future mini-me? b.)am I capable of carrying another life with my womb as its official residence for 9 months? c.) will I be able to surpass giving birth with flying colors? d.)will I look good on maternity clothes? (kidding!)
When that time comes, I think I can handle it, thanks to the pointers that am getting right now.
Later!
No, I ain't talking about those who were born during the Post-War baby boomer era between 1946 and 1964 but the trending pregnancy news within the family and my friends. Yes, the world I guess is so fertile this 2012 and every couple is hormonal that leads to the rise in sales of maternity dresses and baby items (note that we're just in the first quarter and anything can happen).
On the light side, these news lead to some benefits (personal that is). Pregnant moms tend to crave and when your with them, you get showered with the "blessings" from their cravings. Just like now, a friend left a SMS wanting to meet me and another friend with a request that we eat in this La Paz batchoy joint I introduced to her last year because yes, she's craving for that steamy batchoy soup. ;)
While most female in the hood that I know is enjoying their "am-a-mommy-my-belly-gets-bigger-baby-kicking-inside" status, it somehow leaves me thinking. Being a person who adores kids, seeing pregnant friends and cousins sends me mental notes about the ins and outs, do's and don'ts of pregnancy. But what scares me the most are the following: a.) will I find the perfect donor to complete the molecular structure of my future mini-me? b.)am I capable of carrying another life with my womb as its official residence for 9 months? c.) will I be able to surpass giving birth with flying colors? d.)will I look good on maternity clothes? (kidding!)
When that time comes, I think I can handle it, thanks to the pointers that am getting right now.
Later!
Tuesday, April 17
0 From Being a Sister to Having Sisters
I am the eldest among 2 siblings. And for the most part, I am the eldest as well in most of my circle of friends so the feeling of being the youngest is somewhat foreign.
Being the eldest gave me this unspoken rule to be the "more responsible" one and to act sensibly so that I'd be a role model to those people who are looking up to me.
In some unknown twist of faith, I was able to experience how it feels like to be the youngest. At work, am surrounded by office mates who are two/three years older. Plus, I get this renewed and stronger bond with my cousins who are 6-15 years senior than I am.
Being the youngest has its perks. I get my share of pampering, of understanding and having someone to ask for sound advice or share my crazy and wild thoughts. It made me feel a little less misunderstood. Looking at their lives now, I get to learn not only how to deal with things better but to understand the by products of haste judgments and the regrets that it entails thereafter. They dry my tears and help me stand up when I feel down and battered.
What's even surprising though is how they value my opinion. It makes me feel "more adult" and important. The debates and the ideas that they share with me helps me to become "wiser" or more "womanly" and empowers me in preparing for my future duties as a wife and a mother (yes, I do see myself in those roles).
To my new found sisters, thanks for making this existence more colorful and for making me realize that sometimes its okay to be taken care off. :)
Being the eldest gave me this unspoken rule to be the "more responsible" one and to act sensibly so that I'd be a role model to those people who are looking up to me.
In some unknown twist of faith, I was able to experience how it feels like to be the youngest. At work, am surrounded by office mates who are two/three years older. Plus, I get this renewed and stronger bond with my cousins who are 6-15 years senior than I am.
Being the youngest has its perks. I get my share of pampering, of understanding and having someone to ask for sound advice or share my crazy and wild thoughts. It made me feel a little less misunderstood. Looking at their lives now, I get to learn not only how to deal with things better but to understand the by products of haste judgments and the regrets that it entails thereafter. They dry my tears and help me stand up when I feel down and battered.
What's even surprising though is how they value my opinion. It makes me feel "more adult" and important. The debates and the ideas that they share with me helps me to become "wiser" or more "womanly" and empowers me in preparing for my future duties as a wife and a mother (yes, I do see myself in those roles).
To my new found sisters, thanks for making this existence more colorful and for making me realize that sometimes its okay to be taken care off. :)
Tuesday, February 28
0 Inspiration
March. Pressure month especially for the graduating class. This year, one of those hopefuls is my brother, who is giving his best shot to become a Mechanical Engineer. If circumstances would allow, he'll be the first in the family to have a title next to his name.
As per observation, I know my bro is working hard to bring home the bacon. There would be times that he would stay late at night to review. When am out, he would ask me to bring him some take out food for him to munch while studying or would ask for permission that he won't be able to go home because he'd do a group review with his classmates. Well I could really feel that his up to the challenge, not just he wants to make us proud but I guess he wants to prove that he can achieve something. My brother may be of all sorts but he gives his heart to whatever he does.
One Monday noon, as I look for our charger at his room, I found a handwritten March calendar posted in his study table. At the bottom of the calendar, he wrote: "Aral ng mabute, konting tiis nalang. Walang susuko." Upon seeing that, I couldn't help but grab a pen and add words of encouragement for him. The following day, my mom also saw it and added a few more words to encourage her bunso. Well he still haven't seen the "vandal" that we wrote on his free wall but I hope that would inspire him to continue aiming for the gold.
And to you my Kid Bro: Parang Nike lang yan. "Just do it!" You can do it bro. We believe in you. Break a leg!
And I'd be a proud stage sister come graduation day :D
As per observation, I know my bro is working hard to bring home the bacon. There would be times that he would stay late at night to review. When am out, he would ask me to bring him some take out food for him to munch while studying or would ask for permission that he won't be able to go home because he'd do a group review with his classmates. Well I could really feel that his up to the challenge, not just he wants to make us proud but I guess he wants to prove that he can achieve something. My brother may be of all sorts but he gives his heart to whatever he does.
One Monday noon, as I look for our charger at his room, I found a handwritten March calendar posted in his study table. At the bottom of the calendar, he wrote: "Aral ng mabute, konting tiis nalang. Walang susuko." Upon seeing that, I couldn't help but grab a pen and add words of encouragement for him. The following day, my mom also saw it and added a few more words to encourage her bunso. Well he still haven't seen the "vandal" that we wrote on his free wall but I hope that would inspire him to continue aiming for the gold.
And to you my Kid Bro: Parang Nike lang yan. "Just do it!" You can do it bro. We believe in you. Break a leg!
And I'd be a proud stage sister come graduation day :D
Sunday, February 26
0 It's Friday and I'm Out...on a DATE
It has been a while since I went out on a Friday night. Yes I was on a date. Probably those who would be reading this will be all smiles now. My love life has been an open book to a few people, being the reserved person that I am. Most of them would tell me that everything's gonna be alright and I should not close my doors. I, on the other hand, have this, well we could say practice, of going on a dating scene hiatus (and when I say hiatus it would mean years) before I agree to another date.
This time though, I know that there were changes on how I handled myself. I tried dressing more lady-like, the bills were split equally and I had my share of talking (yes I used to be quiet and would just listen, I still do, but I guess now I have developed the art of acknowledging compliments).
One dilemma that I have whenever I go out dating is having indecent proposals. As I mature, I have learned how to handle them and kinda expected guys to be asking that, not that I give in but I know somewhere between the small talks and walking side by sides, a question of "going somewhere private" pops up. Last Friday night though was different and I kinda salute the guy for that. He wasn't prude nor noble but respect and decency ruled in.
Yes guys, I am again smiling. And again writing. And this may mean bad signals. I have kept my doors open, only with laser lights and electric wires on. This time, slow would be the word. I have tried that before but I guess I have not perfected it, so now, I would be using this opportunity to apply it again. Its not that I want to be emotionally detached. However, I just want to be sure and secure before taking the risk. Plays and tears is something I am avoiding. Though it may be inevitable, I guess I could lessen the long-term injury.
Yes, HHWW and goodbye kisses ain't bad after all... :)
Later!
This time though, I know that there were changes on how I handled myself. I tried dressing more lady-like, the bills were split equally and I had my share of talking (yes I used to be quiet and would just listen, I still do, but I guess now I have developed the art of acknowledging compliments).
One dilemma that I have whenever I go out dating is having indecent proposals. As I mature, I have learned how to handle them and kinda expected guys to be asking that, not that I give in but I know somewhere between the small talks and walking side by sides, a question of "going somewhere private" pops up. Last Friday night though was different and I kinda salute the guy for that. He wasn't prude nor noble but respect and decency ruled in.
Yes guys, I am again smiling. And again writing. And this may mean bad signals. I have kept my doors open, only with laser lights and electric wires on. This time, slow would be the word. I have tried that before but I guess I have not perfected it, so now, I would be using this opportunity to apply it again. Its not that I want to be emotionally detached. However, I just want to be sure and secure before taking the risk. Plays and tears is something I am avoiding. Though it may be inevitable, I guess I could lessen the long-term injury.
Yes, HHWW and goodbye kisses ain't bad after all... :)
Later!
Tuesday, February 14
0 Work Frustrations
The start of my year at work wasn't really a blast. I am faced with a challenge of molding a newbie, who happens to have this strong connection with the B (boss).
After almost a month, I am still stuck in training the newbie with the ins and outs of work. However, the thing is, she isn't progressing the same way a newbie should. To make matters worst, she won't take on feedback. Sometimes I wonder at night whether I have done something wrong in training her. While people tell me that am doing the right thing and she's just slow to comprehend, it saddens me to think that my other partner at work seems like giving up on her already. I know time would come that my work buddy of four years would part ways one day, its just kinda frustrating that his replacement would be giving me such a headache. And one wrong move on my end would surely ring a bell on the B's radar.
I am losing patience. :(
After almost a month, I am still stuck in training the newbie with the ins and outs of work. However, the thing is, she isn't progressing the same way a newbie should. To make matters worst, she won't take on feedback. Sometimes I wonder at night whether I have done something wrong in training her. While people tell me that am doing the right thing and she's just slow to comprehend, it saddens me to think that my other partner at work seems like giving up on her already. I know time would come that my work buddy of four years would part ways one day, its just kinda frustrating that his replacement would be giving me such a headache. And one wrong move on my end would surely ring a bell on the B's radar.
I am losing patience. :(
Tuesday, February 7
0 New Year .New Look
At some point, I wanted to get rid of this blog and start a new one. But six years of love affair with this blog made me stop and think.
So there, I just have it revamped. Fresher look. And maybe I'll try to tweak my entries into something more targeted, not just mere ranting.
BTW, Since late last year I have tried changing my look... A shorter do. Yes, I am starting to shower some lovin' on myself.
Later!
So there, I just have it revamped. Fresher look. And maybe I'll try to tweak my entries into something more targeted, not just mere ranting.
BTW, Since late last year I have tried changing my look... A shorter do. Yes, I am starting to shower some lovin' on myself.
Later!
Monday, January 23
0 Evolution. Change.
Contemplating on changing my blog and revamping it. Wanna start anew, posting daily (hopefully). A lot of things had happened and am thankful to have surpassed them all.
I'll keep you posted once I am ready for the brand new page. :)
Later!
I'll keep you posted once I am ready for the brand new page. :)
Later!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)