0 The Bum Chronicles

50 days and still counting.

Having long breaks is something I was not used to. During my last days in college, I could vividly remember juggling my training for a BPO company while reporting to the University to fulfill my graduation requirements. I even requested from my trainer if I can be late for the shift the night after my graduation (which, if I am not mistaken happened on May 5 as well, some eight years ago).

I started working early not because I was required but  because it was an obligation I felt I have to fulfill. I jumped from one job to the next, in calculated moves. I made sure that I won’t have an idle moment for long. Economically, I cannot afford to do so.

Before, I signed job offers, not because it was my dream job but because it was somehow related to the college degree I finished and at the same time, somehow it offered competitive pay.

Until March 2013. I was offered a job that I, without a doubt, accepted. The job description was something new, the nature of work was something I would surely learn from. It was something that somehow I see myself loving and doing for a long time. It was challenging for me. That, plus a competitive pay made me say "I do."

The 11 months I spent in my ex-company was a roller coaster ride. I learned a lot about myself. It strengthened my work ethics. I gained friends who showed me my potential and never would tell me to my face if I sucked. It also made me realize how patient I am and I developed the need to be assertive, all of which I am thankful. 

But my love for the job and the company dwindled and was replaced with hair loss and chest pains. It was getting to a point that my dedication was no longer worth it.

On March 17, I decided to resign. Unmindful of the consequences. It was immediate and irrevocable.The resignation was a mix of emotions. I felt guilty, in a way, because I was, at the back of my mind, thinking what will happen to the company and the clients that I'll be leaving behind. On the other hand, it felt like a load of my chest. And I felt happier, relaxed and at peace.

Then it hit me. This is the break that I need to truly decide what I wanted to do in my life. I am bothered because I have never been idle this long. But this situation gave me the opportunity to do things that I should have done a long time like fixing my IDs and my papers. It gave me a moment to think what I truly wanna do in my life. And this situation made me more thankful to God for helping me now that I am down. He never failed to send people who would assist me to overcome this situation that I am into right now. 
Reality check, economic needs came knocking in. Thankfully, my mom and bro understood my situation. They're there for me. Literally and figuratively. 

Somehow I feel uncomfy being bum. I am at a point, at times, worrying the lack of invitation for job interviews. In a way, I felt that my current career aim is too ambitious. But as what a good friend told me, I should start chasing my dreams no matter how big it is. And that's what am doing.

I am still clueless as to how long I will remain a bum. I don't intend to be like this for life. In fact am starting miss the feeling of being "workaholic." My time will come. I believe it will. But for now, I guess, I just have to embrace what life is offering me.